You are a big bald..... > Rexroad.com

So on Friday afternoon Jenn and I took the kids to the Fair. They had all eaten dinner and we were headed there for rides and ice cream.

Abbie and I did the ferris wheel. Adam got to see clowns. Adam and Abbie rode on the trucks in the kiddie section. Life was great.

Since I had not eaten yet we split up. Jenn took the kids to the merry go round and then for ice cream at the Methodist church booth. I headed for tri-tip at the FFA booth. After getting my tri-tip combo I ran into Yolo Cal Vet and his Posse. I downed the excellent tri-tip and started working on my melon cup.

As I walking north along the asphalt path toward my family and ice cream some idiot strolls right up next to me and says, "You are one big bad bald Mother F***er."

My response, while shoving melon down my throat, was "What?"

He did not back track at all. He said "I am a little stacked right now but your head is big and bald.". Now I figure I might have a problem. I am eating -- which is a very bad time to bother me. Further, if this guy makes me drop my melon cup I am probably going to jail shortly after that.

I stand up a little straighter and stare right at him with my mouth full of melon. His hands are free and he seems more inclined to hold onto the straps of his backpack. This is going to end quickly if it has to.

Now that I have his attention he cuts behind me to leave. Life is getting better because I think he is probably headed away from me and my melon cup.

Then the guy clips the heel of my sandal wit his foot. I am not sure if he did it on purpose or not but I know this -- it was a big deal for me. A big deal because of my reaction. I am not an athlete any more. If 315 pounds were above my chest today it would cut me in half. 26.2 miles would get finished sometime after the fair ended. I have not had anyone throw a punch at me for longer than Abbie has been alive. I am 40 YEARS OLD.

Here is the key distinction between my reaction today compared to what my reaction would have been ten years ago. My primary concern was really not my safety. It was my melon cup. It was good melon.

Had I been with my family my reaction also probably would have been much different. If this tweaker would have actually sent me to the ground my reaction would have been far different. After all, I probably would have spilled my melon cup.

My main point with this post is that I need to remember that I am 40 year old middle age man walking around in short and sandals at the Yolo County Fair. I'm not a warrior anymore. You need a soldier of fortune then hire someone else. Many people are now more qualified than I am. If you need someone to blog for you, pick up trash, do a book review, or engage in some kind of political battle -- I am your guy. Just give me a good melon cup and watch me go to work.

Comments

By floatingfoam @ Monday, August 18, 2008 8:48 AM

I feel the same way about the funnel cake.

By YoloCalVet @ Wednesday, August 20, 2008 2:50 PM

The melons were courtesy of John Perry of Perry, Bunch, Battaglia & Johnston.

Sorry the Posse left so early, I'm sure the 17 year old Delay Entry Program Navy Recruit. WHS Fottball Defensive End and Wrestler would have gladly taken care of your "lite" work. I don't care how tough you are when someone is making a bowtie out of your legs under your chin, you seem to get their attention. Where's Big Ed when you need him?

Semper Fi Leather Neck.

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